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Showing posts with the label Humor

Christian Humor: A $20 Dollar Bill and A $1 Dollar Bill

There was this $20 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were laying there side by side the $1 dollar bill said to the $20 dollar bill, "Hey mannnnnn, where have you been. I haven't seen you in a long time?" The $20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been having a ball!! I've been traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that I just newly built. In fact, just this week I've been to Europe, a professional NBA game, Rodeo Drive, the all day retreat spa, the top-notch hair salon and the new casino!! I have done it all!!!" After describing his great travels, the $20 dollar bill asked the $1dollar bill, "What about you? Where have you been?"  The $1 dollar replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church, the Methodist church,

Christian Jokes: Which Way to Heaven?

This is a short true to life joke that happened in Billy Graham's ministry. Prepare to laugh. Read on: Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven." The boy replied, "I don't think I'll be there... You don't even know your way to the post office."

Christian Jokes: Pick Three Hymns

One Sunday a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.   After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.       

Christian Jokes: What Kids Prayed For

Today, I would like to share here at Behind Crossroads something funny. We often hear a famous saying: "laughter is the best medicine." True or not, I hope these clean jokes will brighten your day and end up smiling for the rest of the day, week or even months! Read on! Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? - Norma Dear God,  Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't You just keep the ones you have now? - Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? - Nan

Atheist's Best Kept Secret

An atheist believes Nothing made everything. (A scientific impossibility) ...space and time both started at the Big Bang and therefore there was nothing before it. Here's a joke I found on the web: An atheist buys an ancient lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it. Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, Master.” The atheist says, “I wish I could believe in you.” The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him. The atheist says, “Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this.” The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies. “What about your third wish?” asks the genie. “Well,” says the atheist, “I wish for a billion dollars.” The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens. “What’s wrong?” asks the atheist. The genie shrugs and says, “Just because you believe in me, doesn’t necessarily mean that I really exist.” source: Youtube, Thewayof

How to Get Into Heaven - Another Funny Joke But True...('',)

A man dies and meets the gatekeeper at the Pearly Gates.The gatekeeper says to the man, "Here's how it works. You need to have one hundred points to get into heaven. You tell me about all the good things you've done. They are all worth a certain number of points. If your total is one hundred or more, you can come in." "Well," says the man. "I was happily married to the same woman for 52 years. I never looked at another woman. I was attentive and loved her dearly." "That's great," says the gatekeeper. "That'll be two points." "Hmmm," says the man. "This is going to be harder than I thought. Well, I attended church regularly, volunteered my time and tithed faithfully." "Wonderful," says the gatekeeper, "That's worth another point." "One point!" says the man. "Okay, okay. I was involved with a prison ministry for twenty-five years. I went into the prison,

Christian Humor : You Can't Outsmart a Little Girl

One Sunday afternoon a little girl was happily walking home from Kids Church reading her bible. When she arrived at her driveway, her grumpy neighbour noticed what the little girl was doing and asked roughly, "What are you reading, girl?" The little girl replied gently, "My bible. The part where a man called Jonah got swallowed by a big fish and God saved him." At this, the neighbour snickered and scoffed, "The bible is a made-up book! How could a man survive in the stomach of a fish?" The girl answered, "Well, when I'm in heaven, I'll ask Jonah." The neighbour laughed more and arrogantly asked, "What if Jonah isn't in heaven?" The little girl thought long and hard about this question then replied quietly, "Then you can ask him." Author unknown Source: from my mailbox